2.Unhealthy Eating Habits
Part One: Pay Attention to Unhealthy Eating Habits
Introduction – Why are unhealthy eating habits important?
Through our experience, we have learned that our main problem is not merely the food itself, but the kind of relationship we have with it.
Food, in our lives, became a tool — a way to escape, to control, to hide, or to gain the approval of others.
That is why abstinence, for us, is not simply about changing the type or amount of food we eat; it is a fundamental transformation of the unhealthy behaviors that trap us.
Some of us discovered that every bad eating habit is actually a mirror reflecting a deeper behavioral or emotional issue within us:
- When we are impatient, it shows up as fast or careless eating.
- When we are secretive, it appears as hidden eating or hoarding food.
- When we are controlling, we turn to rigid calorie restrictions.
- When we feel inadequate, it shows up in overeating or giving in to others’ demands.
Recognizing these roots became possible for us only through working the Steps.
The Steps showed us how to identify our unhealthy inner patterns, surrender them to our Higher Power, and find a new way of living.
In fact, paying attention to bad eating habits is part of a two-step spiritual process in the OA program:
1. Stopping the disease of compulsive overeating – refraining from the first extra bite.
2. Healing the compulsive eater – transforming from within and becoming free of the emotional and spiritual roots that created these habits.
That is why abstinence, for us, is not merely a behavior — it is a path toward awareness, serenity, and freedom.
Part Two: The Historical Roots of Paying Attention to Habits
From the very beginning of OA’s formation in Los Angeles, there was a strong focus on unhealthy eating habits. The Los Angeles movement—unlike the “Valley” movement, which emphasized alcoholism and spiritual illness—was largely influenced by psychology and behavioral science. They viewed compulsive overeating not merely as a physical issue or a matter of food choice, but as a behavioral disorder.
Perhaps one reason for this perspective was OA’s early inspiration from other Twelve-Step fellowships, particularly Gamblers Anonymous (GA). In GA, the problem wasn’t “money” itself, but rather the unhealthy behavior surrounding money. This same understanding took root in OA: Our problem is not simply “food,” but our behavior toward food.
In 1961, Irene—one of OA’s early members and a founder of its structured meetings—strongly emphasized the importance of changing habits. Drawing inspiration from “The Varieties of Religious Experience” by William James, she pointed out that changing a habit requires at least twenty-one days of practice. Irene introduced this idea into OA meetings and insisted that anyone who wished to speak at a meeting must first have three weeks of continuous abstinence. Later, this requirement was extended to thirty days of abstinence.
Irene didn’t stop at initial abstinence. She believed that for deeper understanding, members needed to work Step Four (the personal inventory) to uncover the hidden roots of their unhealthy behavioral habits. From her point of view, lasting abstinence was impossible without identifying and transforming these underlying habits.
This early perspective taught us that:
- Abstinence is not merely a change in diet, but a transformation of unhealthy behavioral and psychological patterns.
- True abstinence requires continuous practice, sufficient time, and diligent Step work.
- Our eating and behavioral habits are so closely intertwined that they cannot be separated.
Part Three: Defining Unhealthy Eating Habits
Our experience has shown that:
An unhealthy eating habit is the repeated pattern of eating—or not eating—in a way that is out of harmony with the body’s real needs. Such behaviors often stem from our emotional and spiritual conditioning. These habits can be subtle, unconscious, and seemingly insignificant, yet over time they trap us in cycles of overeating, undereating, or other forms of compulsive behavior.
To clarify the concept, it’s helpful to distinguish between two related ideas:
1. Eating Behavior:
This refers to how we act when we eat or drink—such as the speed at which we eat, the amount we consume, the timing of our meals, or even our mental state while eating.
2. Behavioral Eating Pattern:
This is the collection of these behaviors that becomes repetitive in our daily lives. When such patterns are built on fear, control, secrecy, or low self-esteem, they turn into unhealthy eating habits.
Therefore, changing an eating habit without addressing its inner roots cannot lead to lasting recovery. If we only change the type of food or meal plan but ignore the emotional and spiritual causes behind them, we eventually fall back into the same old patterns.
Through our recovery experience, we have learned that:
- Fast eating is not merely a matter of speed—it reflects our inner haste and impatience.
- Secret eating is not just eating in private—it mirrors our tendency toward secrecy and fear of others’ judgment.
- Picking at food throughout the day is not simply taking small bites—it reveals our need for control and lack of trust in the process of abstinence.
Part Four: Examples of Unhealthy Eating Habits and Their Psychological–Spiritual Roots
In the previous section, we saw that an unhealthy eating habit is more than just a simple behavior; these habits are part of broader behavioral patterns that have deep psychological and spiritual roots.
Lasting change becomes possible only when we recognize these roots and address them on a deeper level.
This section is inspired by “A New Food Plan”, one of OA’s recent publications, and reflects insights from group workshops where members shared their personal experiences.
Therefore, what follows is a collective understanding — not an absolute rule.
The psychological roots or spiritual messages may differ for each member; we simply share our experience, not a universal truth.
Examples:
1. Eating until we are stuffed, even after feeling full
Behavioral root: Greed, fear of scarcity, lack of trust.
Spiritual message: Trusting my Higher Power means believing my real needs will be met — even if my plate isn’t full.
2. Strictly limiting calories
Behavioral root: Control and perfectionism.
Spiritual message: Surrender means letting go of obsession and realizing that being enough matters more than being perfect.
3. Finishing all the food on the plate or eating others’ leftovers
Behavioral root: Compulsion, guilt, inability to say “no.”
Spiritual message: Freedom means knowing I am not responsible for anyone else’s food — only for my own body.
4. Eating too quickly
Behavioral root: Hurry, restlessness, impatience.
Spiritual message: Serenity means learning to eat each bite mindfully and with gratitude.
5. Hiding or hoarding food
Behavioral root: Secrecy, fear, dishonesty.
Spiritual message: Honesty and trust bring freedom — when I bring my secrets into the light, I am set free.
6. Obsessively searching for unrealistic diets
Behavioral root: Desperation, distrust in the recovery path, illusion of shortcuts.
Spiritual message: Hope means trusting that OA’s simple path, though gradual, truly works.
7. Eating to please others
Behavioral root: People-pleasing, fear of rejection.
Spiritual message: Self-respect means choosing what supports my recovery, even if it doesn’t please others.
8. Eating in times of celebration, stress, sadness, or loneliness
Behavioral root: Escaping emotions, inability to tolerate pain.
Spiritual message: Courage means allowing myself to feel my emotions — without numbing them with food.
9. Constant chewing or grazing throughout the day
Behavioral root: Restlessness, need for constant control.
Spiritual message: Inner stillness means learning to sit with the “empty moment” without needing to fill it.
10. Cleansing the body through laxatives, vomiting, or excessive exercise
Behavioral root: Denial of reality, self-punishment.
Spiritual message: Acceptance means learning to love my body just as it is.
11. Obsessive weighing
Behavioral root: Obsession, seeking self-worth from external measures.
Spiritual message: My true value is not defined by the scale — it lies in my connection with my Higher Power.
12. Eating while standing, driving, or watching TV
Behavioral root: Inattention, hurry, avoidance of the present moment.
Spiritual message: Presence means sitting down, pausing, and eating with awareness.
13. Mental obsession (overeating or undereating)
Behavioral root: Self-centeredness, being trapped in the mind.
Spiritual message: Freedom means surrendering my thoughts to my Higher Power and living in the present.
Section Five: The Message of Recovery
When we began to uncover the psychological and spiritual roots of our habits, we came to a clear truth: changing food alone is not enough.
Lasting abstinence is only possible when we face the hidden forces that pull us—like invisible strings—toward overeating or undereating: our fears, shame, desire for control, people-pleasing, and avoidance of emotions.
This is not an easy journey. Many of us tried repeatedly to fix the problem with diets or new food plans, only to relapse again and again. Why? Because we hadn’t looked beneath the surface—at the roots.
In OA, we learned that the Twelve Steps are our real tools for change.
In Step One, we honestly admit that our lives have become unmanageable and that our habits have made us powerless.
In Step Two, we find a spark of hope: that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity, even after many failures.
In Step Three, we begin to practice surrender: realizing that we no longer need to control everything ourselves, and instead, we make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of that Higher Power.
These first three steps are the beginning of freedom.
Our recovery starts the moment we stop fighting with food and turn inward toward genuine inner change.
Section Six: Conclusion
Today, in OA, we know that:
Our unhealthy eating habits are not just about food—they reflect deeper patterns of behavior.
Hurry, control, secrecy, greed, and fear all find their expression through our eating behaviors.
Recovery means rebuilding our relationship—with food, with others, and ultimately with ourselves. When we look at these relationships with honesty, we discover that the real problem was never the “bite,” but rather “our way of dealing with life itself”.
When we start paying attention to these habits, we realize that recovery in OA is far more than dieting or losing weight.
Recovery is an inner transformation, a spiritual journey that begins with our plate but leads us deep into the heart of our being.
This is our message of hope:
We can be freed from the prison of old behaviors.
With the help of the Steps, our sponsors, and the fellowship of others, we can build a new life—one in which food is no longer our enemy or our refuge, but simply a healthy and natural part of living.
